Maybe it’s a weird concept, but I think we can always reflect and find, in any scenario, little reasons to be grateful, even in grief. Through the last year and a half there have been significant changes in the world and in my life personally. Despite how wrong it feels to voice this, I am grateful Marisa didn’t have to see it.
Marisa was immunocompromised from day 1. Living through a pandemic would have been incredibly challenging, especially if she was already sick. I am so grateful that our family got the time with her that we did prior to the pandemic. There are so many families out there who did not get that time.
I am also incredibly grateful for this blog. It has led to many unexpected yet open conversations with readers. I love enabling the conversation around grief and the feelings we feel. We are all human. We all feel. We all go through periods of time where we are simply not ok. That is what makes us human. Being able to share openly how I feel with the world has been very fulfilling and eye opening. I have had the opportunity to have conversations with people who don’t agree and with people who do. I have had conversations where people are curious and conversations where people feel validated by my words. It has been so beautiful hearing other people’s stories, simply because I let myself be vulnerable.
I am grateful for my ability to share this page with the people who never got the opportunity to meet Ris. I have met so many beautiful humans since moving from my hometown and being able to share this significant part of who I am with them has been exceptional. This page has been a timeless display of my process. Sharing this page with people has brought me closer to many friends and started conversations I wouldn’t dream of starting in person.
Lastly, I am exceptionally grateful for you, the people who read this. I can’t explain how much it means to me that you’re here, taking time out of your day to read this. I honestly started this blog for two people: myself and my future life partner. Marisa was a huge part of my life. She represents so much of who I am now. Writing this down has allowed me to share my feelings and my little sister with my partner. I couldn’t be more grateful. That you are reading this now is just a bonus.
I encourage you to reflect on the positive no matter how negative a situation might be, because there’s always a ray of sunshine in every storm.
As Marisa would say, always be kind and remember to smile.
8.26.2021, 20 months since