Grief by You: A Comfort to Each Other

In this series, Grief by You, I will be featuring people in my life who have experienced grief in one way or another. Some will be kept anonymous for those that prefer it. I hope to open the eyes of the readers and myself to how different people’s experiences with grief can be. If you are interested in sharing your experiences, feelings, or stories, please reach out to me at

The first ever Grief by You post is one that is very near and dear to my heart: my dad. My dad is an incredible human who feels so deeply and will always protect his family. He is also a prime example of how differently people grieve.

Dad, I have valued how you are willing to show emotion through your passion for your family. I absolutely adore the support you’ve shown me through this blog and through my own grieving process. Thank you for sharing and being so willing to display your side. I love you.


I am going to share some of my experience with grief.

Grief is one of those words that can mean different things to each of us. Or maybe better said, we may experience grief in many different ways. It may be hard for us to understand each other’s grief and I am okay with that.

For me, Marisa’s death has brought on a number of emotions. If I was to use one word, I think it would be “numb”.  Many of my day to day activities have been hampered by thoughts that seem to take away my focus of what I am trying to do. As a result the past months have been a blur. Another group of words that help describe my grief would include regret, guilt, anger, and frustration.  I regret not foreseeing (or taking action) to Marisa’s risks of getting cancer and using time to either steer away from or making changes that would lessen her exposure.  I wish I understood our “health care” or better worded, our sick care system in Canada and had figured out better options in the event she did get cancer.  So there is that old saying hindsight is 20/20.

Most of all I have been able to be blessed by friends and family, which doesn’t remove grief but it prevents it from becoming disabling.  Remembering fun times with Ris and things that I look forward to when we see her again. I still shed tears but feel comfortable with that and don’t even try to hide it. I am more sensitive to others and understand that the grief in their life may be experienced totally different than mine but we can still be a comfort to each other.

As Marisa would say, always be kind and remember to smile.

10.26.2021, 22 months since

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